So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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