Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
