So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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