He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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