Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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