That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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