I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
