Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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