dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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