I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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