I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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