He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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