you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
