there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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