what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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