if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
