ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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