The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
