Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
