You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
