how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
