ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
