Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
