they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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