please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
