i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
