i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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