I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
