Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
