all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
