my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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