I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is this like a preordered booty call?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
jump out the window naked night went bad
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