not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
