In America we eat man semen.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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