woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
