I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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