worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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