it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
