does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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