I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Terrible idea I love it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
