Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
