Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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