yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
