I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
