If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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