Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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