I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
