it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
