One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
