her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my being single is dangerous.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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