That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
