We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
did you just send me my own nude
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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