how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
