We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
