Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
